Facing Fear and Doing the Damn Thing Anyway

Fear…that tightness in the chest, knot in the stomach, lump in throat, can’t get a deep breath, and that dizzy feeling that happens when you are about to do something that scares the shit out of you. You want to run, but you face fear and do the damn thing anyway. Some call this...getting out of your comfort zone.

Facing Fear: What exactly are you so afraid of?

So, What exactly are you afraid of?

Getting struck by lightning?

Sharks?

Plane crashes?

Yes, I am afraid of these things,

There was this book I read a couple of years ago about a woman who was standing at her bedroom window watching the rain and got struck by lightning, she lived but, could no longer see any warm colors. She said from that day forward everything looked like winter.

I wasn’t afraid of getting struck by lightning until after reading this book, by the way...it was not a true story.

So, do I still watch the rain from my window, Yes.

Facing Fear: What exactly are you so afraid of?

I am afraid of sharks.

Every time I swim out into the deep water, where the waves swell up before the break and it is that rich midnight ocean blue I think about that scene in Jaws that starts with a little nip and ends with a blood curdling scream as the girl is pulled under by the shark hidden from sight in the deep water.

Am I still called to swim in the sea? Yes.

Facing Fear: What exactly are you so afraid of?

I close my eyes and repeat mantra when the seat belt light comes on. White knuckling the arm rest when the turbulence gets so rough that the flight attendants take their seats.

Do I still book my next flight and plan my next adventure? Yes.

Facing Fear and Doing the Damn Thing 

Is this what it means to face fear?

To acknowledge that feeling of fear but, then do it anyway.

Is the beauty of the experience stronger than the fear?

Maybe these fears easier to overcome because they are shared by so many? We get through it together…on planes and beaches and riding out storms.

Facing Fear: What exactly are you so afraid of?

Truth: I am afraid of being trapped…stuck in a situation that I can’t get out of, of making the wrong decision over and over again. Regret, for missed opportunities and time wasted. Waking up old and alone, broke with no health insurance. Never seeing the sun set in Bali, or achieving my dream of living at the beach…and if I do, that I won’t have anyone to share it with.

What if I become a lonely old lady because I chose not to have children…because I was too afraid of commitment to allow space for love?

These are the burning fears that keep me up at night.

I am afraid I will fail …or give up, not sure which is worse.

These are the fears you face alone.

So, What exactly are you afraid of?

As you ponder this question...I share with you this quote which I have found to be a little bit like a smack in the face but, the good kind of smack. You know, the kind that snaps you out of the bullshit that keeps you paralyzed in the fear and excuses that keep you stuck. The kind of slap that you say thank you for because you needed it.

“FEAR- I recognize and respect that you are part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still-your suggestions will never be followed. You are allowed to have a seat and you are allowed to have a voice but you are not allowed to have a vote. You are not allowed to touch the road maps; you are not allowed to suggest detours; you are not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you are not even allowed to touch the radio. But, above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.” Elizabeth Gilbert

The point is that  we all have story to tell about how we arrived on the mat or the cushion or on that overnight flight. In a rehab or at a teacher training in an ashram on a mountain. We did the damn thing that scared the shit out of us because we made a choice a choice to put fear in back seat and take the wheel. 

Facing Fear: What exactly are you so afraid of?

Everything, but I’m doing the damn thing anyway.

Book the Trip, Enjoy the Journey!

Annmarie

"I have been absolutely terrified every moment of my life- and I have never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do" Georgia O'Keeffe